• blaxkleric

"Two Men Enter, One Man Leaves."


"Fighting leads to killing, and killing gets to warring."

"Greetings Motorheads, and welcome to another broadcast covering some of your favourite vehicles of our post-apocalyptic age. I'm Rex Wonkers, and alongside my colleague and famed fossicking legend Lance Sourdough, I'll be looking at three more desperate souls who have put their names forward as competitors in our upcoming inaugural Juice Cup."


"Now all of these desperados will be travelling at breakneck speeds on the 20mm plastic motorcycles found on the Implements of Carnage One sprue by "North Star Military Figures". However, in addition to predominantly just riding around the designated killing zone as a moving obstacle, two of our competitors will actually be armed and dangerous. Right, Lance..?"

"Now when men get to fighting, it happens here."

"Correct Rex. The Nottingham-based company's Code NSPIoC05 frame contains a quartet of machine guns, and a pair of these automatic weapons have been snipped down to their bare barrels and then jammed through the bikes' windshields, courtesy of a bit of drilling. Not the most complex of conversions admittedly. But definitely effective."


"Furthermore, a wheel from Implements of Carnage Two has been cut in half and stuck onto the back of this trio's other rider, so as to provide him with a miniscule amount of extra armour. I'm not sure just how much protection a semi-circle of hardened rubber is going to give, but I suppose it's the thought that counts."

"Weapons?"

"Too right, Lancey Boy. Now all three of our brave bikers were primed with "Citadel" Abaddon Black, heavily dry-brushed with both "Vallejo" Brown and Gunmetal, as well as later drenched in "Citadel" Agrax Earthshade. Each rider's leather suit, visor and wheels were then appropriately pigmented with either "Citadel" Abaddon Black, "Vallejo" Heavy Sienna or "Citadel" Sons Of Horus Green.


"Finally, their limbs' armour plates and helmet were treated to a combination of "Vallejo" Gunmetal and "Citadel" Nuln Oil. Whilst the racers' seats and belts were given a lick of "Vallejo" Heavy Brown or "Citadel" Rakarth Flesh. All of these areas were subsequently shaded in "Citadel" Agrax Earthshade."


"And with that update, Rex, it appears we've come to the end of our transmission. So, it's goodbye from me and him, and I look forward to speaking to all you wasteland survivors again in the next edition of Cars, Crashes and Carnage..."

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