"Hello everybody, and welcome to this opening transmission of Cars, Crashes and Carnage, I'm your host, Rex Wonkers, and together with renowned petroleum prospector Lance Sourdough, we'll be bringing you all the exciting news leading up to our post-apocalyptic community's very first Juice Cup."
"To start us off we'll be taking a look at one of the many planned maniacal motorcyclists aiming to make a name for themselves in the suicidal sport. This foolish fella was assembled using a couple of the 20mm plastic pieces found on the Implements of Carnage One sprue sold by "North Star Military Figures" as Code NSPIoC05 in their Gaslands Refuelled range and will doubtless simply ride around the arena acting as a moving obstacle to be avoided by the other competitors."
"That's right, Rex. This poor fool wasn't equipped with any actual weaponry, and was simply primed with "Citadel" Abaddon Black. He was then heavily dry-brushed with "Vallejo" Brown and later Gunmetal, before being soaked in "Citadel" Agrax Earthshade."
"Once all this basic weathering was finished, the rider's leather suit, visor and the bike's wheels were tidied up with some extra "Citadel" Abaddon Black. Whilst his armoured limb plates and helmet were treated to a combination of "Vallejo" Gunmetal and "Citadel" Nuln Oil. In addition, the old lady's seat was layered with "Vallejo" Heavy Brown and the racer's belt Heavy Sienna. Both of these areas were subsequently shaded in "Citadel" Agrax Earthshade."
"Thank you, Lancey Boy. I understand some additional touches of "Mig Productions" Extreme Rust Wash were also used on the motorcycle and then blended in with a delicate dry-brush of "Vallejo" Gunmetal. Now, what can you tell the audience about some of the other planned participants of the Juice Cup..?"
“Well Rex, the biggest name is obviously our illustrious sponsor Bob's Burgers, who'll be entering his very own food truck into the inaugural event. His "Hot Wheel" by "Mattel" has been armed with a pair of deadly machine guns, and will be having its famous burger and fries re-painted to celebrate the occasion. Furthermore, we have at least one Land Rover Defender 90 competing for the prize in the shape of former British military-man Squaddie One."
"Plus, hot off the press I believe they'll be at least one custom build based on a Synkro chassis, and the local Constabulary have signed on with a... giant weaponized duck..!?! Doubtless we'll be able to update viewers with more on these extraordinary additions to the Juice Cup's roster in our next edition of Cars, Crashes and Carnage. But for now its time to go..."